Original Orchestrations by John Gerdes
Nov. 30-Dec. 16, 2023
Grandel Theatre
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THE CAST
Harry Goodson – Terrell Thompson
Bess Goodson/Johnny Appleweed – Kay Love
Tammy Goodson/Sandra Dee – Marlee Wenski
Chip Goodson/Jesus – Tony L. Marr Jr./Shane Rudolph
Uncle Hugh/Gerry – Tawaine Noah
Carolers – Robert Doyle, Matt Hill, Stephanie Merritt, Lauren Tenenbaum
THE NEW LINE BAND
Conductor/Keyboard – Mallory Golden
Bass – John Gerdes
Reeds – Joseph Hendricks
Reeds – Alex Macke
Percussion – Brad Martin
Guitar – Adam Rugo
THE ARTISTIC STAFF
Directors – Scott Miller, Tony L. Marr Jr.
Choreographer – Tony L. Marr Jr.
Music Director – Mallory Golden
Stage Manager – Emily Floyd
Technical Director – Matt Stuckel
Costume Designer – Lauren Smith Bearden
Sound Designer – Ryan Day
Scenic Designer – Dr. Rob Lippert
Lighting Designer – Matt Stuckel
Props Master –Erin Goodenough
Master Electrician – Stephanie Robinson
Scenic Crew – Corey Anderson, Richard Brown, Stephanie Robinson, Bill Stuckel
Volunteer Coordinator – Alison Helmer
Graphic Designer – Matt Reedy
Photographer – Jill Ritter Lindberg
REVIEWS
“What if Seth Rogen, Charles Dickens, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cheech and Chong, Christopher Hitchens, Hunter S. Thompson, and John Waters decided to have a baby? If you placed their DNA in some sort of invitro Vitamix and hit the frappe button, one of the resulting octuplets might become Scott Miller, artistic director of New Line Theatre, who goes on to write the book, music and lyrics for the mildly subversive Jesus & Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Family Christmas. . . a welcome – if salty – palate cleanser from some of the holiday season’s other truly family-friendly options.” – CB Adams, KDHX
“A hilarious trip. Holiday revelers and partiers looking to take their celebrations to new highs should plan to pop into The Grandel Theatre for New Line Theatre’s original holiday musical spoof Jesus & Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Family Christmas. . . . The show is not for everyone, and is definitely not for children. However, it’s an upbeat musical spoof with a plethora of pointed satire underneath the holiday haze. For those looking for abundant laughs that gently but consistently poke fun at the season and social norms, Jesus and Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Family Christmas is a great choice.” – Tina Farmer, The Riverfront Times
“Founder and artistic director Scott Miller reprises his Johnny Appleweed character in the world premiere of his new musical romp, Jesus & Johnny Appleweed's Holy Rollin' Family Christmas, a fun-filled lampoon of Christianity, middle America and the straight-laced culture of the 1950s. . . This isn’t your family’s traditional Christmas story, if your family is that 'heteronormative' type described in the show’s second number. It’s likely however to become a New Line favorite.” – Mark Bretz, Ladue News
“At first glance, the daffy Jesus & Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Family Christmas takes us back to the fuddy-duddy ‘50s, with the on-stage stylings of TV sitcom land when dads ruled the roost and moms vacuumed wearing pearls. But it’s far more subversive than that. . . As a tongue-in-cheek response to the War on Drugs and the Culture Wars, writer Scott Miller uses clever cultural references to make it clear how the bygone era, complete with hearty laugh-track type guffaws, was a white-bread wonderland where a middle-class suburban family has blinders on regarding diversity, inclusion, and sexual orientation. . . this resembles the audacious dark comedy material that John Waters and Charles Busch specialize in.” – Lynn Venhaus, PopLifeSTL
“New Line is a theatre company that’s not afraid of taking risks. They’ve staged some excellent, smaller-scaled productions of musicals from the well-known to the obscure, and occasionally, like with their latest production, original works. Their latest production, written and co-directed by New Line’s artistic director Scott Miller, is a holiday show with a twist. . . Jesus & Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Family Christmas isn’t a perfect show, but it’s new and it has a good deal of potential. The cast members seem to be enjoying themselves a great deal, and there are some memorable moments and an excellent sense of theme. If you like crass humor, and especially stoner jokes, this show should be a fun ‘alternative’ holiday production.” – Michelle Kenyon, Snoop’s Theatre Thoughts
AUTHOR'S NOTES
I was sitting on my couch, stoned out of my mind and watching Law and Order. I can watch the entire franchise over and over because I always watch it stoned and so I never remember any of the episodes when I see them again. I was in deeply contented couch-lock, as Jesus passed me the pipe and lighter and said, “Hey, why don’t you write another musical about us? It’s been seventeen years since Johnny Appleweed!”
I took a drag and passed it to Johnny who was now neck deep in the Wild West of profound stoner thought. “Have you guys ever seen Fantastic Voyage, where they put the heroes in a submarine and shrink them down really small and inject them into this guy’s body to fix some shit in his brain? We should totally do a stoner musical version of that!”
Johnny’s sentences are often really long.
We were all pretty sure we’d seen Fantastic Voyage but none of us could remember. The pipe returned to Jesus for a re-load and he said, “Well, don’t forget at the end of Johnny Appleweed, I ran for President. There’s your sequel!”
As I accepted the holy bud, it hit me. “Wait. Even better! I should write a stoner Christmas musical!”
“Holy shit!” Jesus smiled. “How did I not think of that?” And we all laughed. For a long time. A really, really long time, until none of us could remember what we were laughing at, so we loaded another bowl and sat in silence for a while.
Johnny said, “How ‘bout A Reefer Madness Christmas Carol?”
Jesus nodded, then, “A Reefer Madness Christmas is better.”
Jesus exhaled a great big cloud of smoke and stoner-smiled. “Ah, fuck ‘em!” And we all laughed again.
My stoner gears were turning now. “A Holy Rollin’ Christmas.”
Johnny took the pipe and nodded. “But maybe it should be Johnny Appleweed and Jesus’ Holy Rollin’ Christmas. Since it’s a sequel.”
Jesus agreed. “Yeah, but do we really want to deal with that apostrophe after Jesus, and whether or not there’s another S after that, am I right? So maybe it should be Jesus and Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Christmas. You know, to keep it simple.”
Robert opened his eyes. “Put family in the title. Everything’s funnier with family.”
I tried it out loud, “Jesus and Johnny Appleweed’s Holy Rollin’ Family Christmas. Yeah, that is funnier.” We all agreed and loaded another bowl. After a few minutes, Robert started laughing and then we all did and we didn’t stop for about an hour.
Law and Order is awesome.
